我父母说 根本没有什么倒霉日 My parents say there's no such thing as a bad day.
关键是在于你怎么看 That it's all how you look at it.
我还能说什么呢 二位 What can I tell you? Parents.
可是据我所知 Here is what I know.
他们错了 They're wrong.
我是倒霉专家亚历山大 My name is Alexander, and I'm the expert in bad days.
这家伙知道我说的是什么 这还没完 This guy knows what I'm talking about. That's not coming off.
我有没有说过我爸爸是个不折不扣的乐观主义? Did I mention my dad is a relentless optimist?
我们快到家了 We're in the home stretch.
再看老妈 And look at Mom.
她总是带着"母亲般的微笑"不会愚弄任何人 She's not fooling anyone with that "Mom smile."
信不信由你 我们到家的时候 Believe it or not, by the time we got home...
我们的样子 比这辆车的现状还要糟糕 this van was in better shape than we were.
这是我姐姐 艾米丽 是个演员 There's my sister Emily, the actress.
随时准备弯腰去吐 Always ready to take a bow.
安东尼 我的老哥 在穿衣风格上绝对是大赢家 Anthony, my brother, a total winner with a great sense of style.
还有特雷弗宝宝 And baby Trevor.
抱歉 朋友 这还没有完 Sorry, pal. Definitely not coming off.
总之 今天是个极其倒霉的日子 Bottom line, today was an epic disaster.
可以说是最糟糕的一天 The worst day possible.
这点家里每个人都会点赞 Everyone in my family would agree.
只是他们并不知道 这都是我的错 But what they don't know, is it was all my fault.
而且还远没结束 And it wasn't over yet.
前一天
你已进入澳洲区域
你睡过头了 You overslept, bud.
别吹我的迪吉里杜管 Don't blow my didgeridoo!
这有什么用? What's it for, then?
菲利普·帕克12岁了 你被邀请了 You're invited! Philip Parker turning 12.
明天晚上? Tomorrow night?
别介 No!
他在恶作剧...早上好 He's the trick to... Good morning!
她来了 There she is!
你一定会很感动的 You are going to be so impressed.
我做了有名的... I made what is known as...
无皮芝士蛋派和菜肉馅煎蛋饼 the crustless quiche, the frittata.
哇 这是什么? Wow. What is this?
两个月前 你连烤芝士三文治都不会 现在... Two months ago, you couldn't even grill cheese, and now...
看起来挺好吃 That looks so good.
芝士和蛋 Egg and cheese.
太赞了 Excellent.
谢谢 Thank you.
今天你们有什么打算 So, what are you gentlemen up to today?
我想想啊 Well, let's see.
今早艾米丽约了牙医 Em has a dentist appointment this morning...
对对 Right, right.
然后我们俩要去做妈咪瑜伽 And then the two of us are going to Mommy and Me Yoga.
- 跟萨默? - 对啊 - With Summer? - Yes.
你会告诉她 我还在吧? Will you tell her I still exist?
我会的 然后趁他睡午觉的时候 I will. And then when he takes his nap,
我再发一些简历 I'm gonna send out some resumes.
不错 Good.
夏天天下雨 What a to-do to die today at a minute or two to two.
穿绿雨衣的女小吕 A thing distinctly hard to say but harder still to do.
去找不穿绿雨衣的吕小女 We'll beat a tattoo at a minute or two
穿绿雨衣的女小吕 and a rat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tattoo...
没找到不穿绿雨衣的吕小女 and the dragon will come to the beat of the drum
不穿绿雨衣的吕小女 at a minute or two to two today...
也没见着穿绿雨衣的女小吕 at a minute or two to two.
- 我要尿尿 - 你头发上有口香糖 - I need to pee. - You have gum in your hair.
吃西瓜不吐西瓜皮儿... A big black bug bit a big black bear...
不 No!
安东尼 亚历山大 快点 快点 Anthony! Alexander! Accelerate. Come on!
等会儿! One minute!
还不赖吧? If it ain't broke, right?
你们知道吗? Guess what?
菲利普·帕克明晚要开生日派对 Philip Parker's having his birthday party tomorrow night.
你明天也要开派对啊.. That's when you're having your birthday party.
我知道 我刚收到邀请的 I know! And I just got the invitation.
老爸 他邀请了所有人 He's going all-out, Dad.
他有能量饮料台 He's getting an energy drink bar,
韩式玉米卷车 现场乐队 a Korean taco truck, a live band.
听起来挺好啊 That sounds legit.
他可能还有封闭的卡拉OK房 I think he's having black lights and a karaoke machine.
我喜欢卡拉OK派对 I love karaoke parties.
我们怎么可能比得过他? Look, can I compete with all of that?
拜托 你的生日派对也不错的 Come on, your birthday's gonna be great.
会很有趣的 我们会有披萨 It's gonna be fun. We're gonna have pizza.
我还要做个蛋糕 I'm gonna make a cake.
可能游泳池里还有排球 Maybe some volleyball in the pool.
菲利普·帕克有舞台喷雾机 而我们却只能吃披萨? Philip Parker's having a fog machine and we're having pizza?
- 别担心 - 你在喝咖啡? - Don't worry. - You're drinking coffee?
那我的派对怎么办? What about my party?
你啥时候开始喝咖啡了? Since when did you start drinking coffee?
我又不是喜欢早起的人 I'm not a morning person.
你看下他的尿不湿吧? Can you check his diaper?
你的大黄蜂掉了 You just dropped Bumble Bee.
- 你的大黄蜂掉了? - 我觉得他可能又尿了 - You drop Bumble Bee? - I think he might be wet.
不 大黄蜂 给你 No. Bumble Bee. There you go.
我希望我能陪你的 老弟 Wish I could be there, bro,
但我明天晚上有舞会 but I got prom tomorrow night.
我以为是下个星期呢 I thought that was next week.
事实就是如此 It is what it is.
我演完彼得·潘的女主角后 可能就会喝醉了... I'll probably be wiped out from my Peter Pan premiere...
不过我很开心为你和你所有朋友唱歌的 but I'll be happy to sing for you and all of your friends.
别 别介啊 No, no, no.
可能是吉普森太太 Probably Mrs. Gibson. Okay.
甜心 爸爸要带艾米丽去看牙医 Honey, Dad's taking Emily to the dentist.
我要去送安东尼 所以你只好拼车了 I've got Anthony. So you're in carpool.
- 拿一块煎饼吧 是无皮芝士蛋派 - 给你 - Take a frittata. It's a crustless quiche. - There you go.
你头发咋了? What did you do to your hair?
没咋的 Nothing.
跟吉普森阿姨问好 礼貌点啊 Say hi to Mrs. Gibson! Remember your manners.
嗨 贝基 Hi, Becky!
嘿 亚历山大 Hey, Alexander.
你还好吗? Are you okay?
还好 Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.
我们快走吧 Let's go, kids.
"苍蝇王"? Lord of the Flies?
挺恐怖吧 Pretty scary, right?
这书写的很美 亚历山大 Lord of the Flies is beautiful, Alexander.
是一个寓意深刻的寓言故事 It's a deep and meaningful allegory
描述我们这个混乱的社会 about our own messed-up society.
是哈 Yeah, totally.
所以我说很"恐怖" That's what I meant with "scary."
社会的事儿 很疯狂 The society stuff. Crazy.
看看这个应用 Check out this app.
我要把你的小脸PS到一些比基尼小妞身上 He puts your face on some bikini model's body.
老性感了 It's really gross and sexist.
这一定很搞笑 This is gonna be hilarious.
- 你干什么? - 等等 等一下 - What are you doing? - Wait, hold on!
- 别 - 我还没弄完呢 - No, no, no. - I'm not done.
嘿 宝贝 Hey, babe.
你没事儿吧 你最后一条短信太冷了 Is everything okay? Your last text was so cold.
不会啊 我发了"学校见"? No, I said, "See you at school"?
对啊 我是你女友 安东尼 Yeah. I'm your girlfriend, Anthony.
你应该在最后发点 You really should end your texts
比如OOXX或者我想你什么的 with "x-o-x-o" or "I heart you."
你也可以发个爱心表情给我也行啊 You can make a heart with the less-than sign and a three.
好 我会记住的 Yeah, I'll try to remember.
一堆女生在聊天 So, a bunch of the girls were talking,
她们都要坐豪车 and they're all going in limos.
我们明天有豪车的 对吧? We are getting a limo tomorrow, right?
我明天要考驾照 甜心 No, I am taking my driver's test tomorrow, babe.
首先我想做个有证的司机 The first thing I wanna do as a licensed driver
可以送你去舞会 is chauffeur you to the prom.
会很浪漫的 It'll be romantic and stuff.
我的确想要浪漫 Well, I do want it to be romantic.
会的 It will be.
还有据可靠消息说... Also, I have it from a very good source who says...
我们要在明晚的宫廷舞会上 we're being crowned Duke and Duchess
戴公爵和公爵夫人王冠 at the Royal Court tomorrow night at prom.
- 那太好了 - 我知道 是不是觉得这是最棒的事情? - That's so tight! - I know. Isn't it like the best thing ever?
这是最糟糕的事儿了 This is the worst thing ever.
这也太逼真了 These look so real.
真不敢相信 埃利奥特居然把这个传遍了整个学校 I can't believe Elliot text-bombed the whole school.
别担心 那家伙就是个傻逼 Don't worry about it, man. Elliot's an idiot.
没人会看到这些的 No one's even gonna look at these.
嘿 保罗 Hey, Paul.
菲利普哥们儿 Philip, my man.
咪咪很赞 亚历山大 Nice boobs, Alexander.
你什么时候成了他的朋友了? Since when are you friends with Philip Parker?
我们的精神病药理是同一个医生 We go to the same psychopharmacologist.
他有儿童多动症 他挺友善的 He's got ADHD, too. He's super nice.
他可不好 No, he's not.
他明天要开一个超巨派对 He's throwing a huge party tomorrow,
可明天也不是他生日啊 and it's not even his actual birthday.
他是下个星期 His is next week.
你会发现 到时候我的派对只有你我二人 You realize it's just gonna be you and me at my party.
- 事实上 可能只有你一个人 - 啊? - Actually, it might just be you. - What?
你得来啊 你是我最好的朋友啊 You've gotta come. You're my best friend.
但是我觉得 你该推迟你的派对 Okay, but personally, I think you should just postpone.
菲利普很受欢迎 大家都会去的 Philip's popular and everybody's gonna be there.
而且他的派对好像很过瘾 Plus, his party sounds pretty dope.
去年你老爸拿拐杖跳踢踏舞 Dude, last year your dad tap-danced with a cane.
再来一个巨糟无比的派对 会毁了你名声的 Another bad party could ruin your rep forever.
你老爸是个好人 但是相信我... Your dad's a nice guy, but trust me...
你可不想把你的朋友圈毁在他手里 you do not want your entire social life in his hands.
真棒! Great job!
对啊 Yeah!
深呼吸 你们生过孩子的 你们可以的 Breathe. You gave birth. You can do this.
2 1 Two. One.
让你的孩子背对着子宫 他们喜欢那里 Take your baby back to the womb. They love it there.
我觉得一个男人能做全职爸比 I think that it's so cool when a guy can
这太了不起了 step up to be a full-time fommy.
什么? A what?
妈咪型爸比 A father-mommy.
好 Okay.
是啊 我觉得我做全职爸比挺有天赋的 Yeah, I guess I'm sort of a fommy by default.
我之前在航空公司上班 现在我想换个工作 I was in aerospace, and I got transitioned out of my job.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
没事儿 这样也不错 No, that's okay.
我就有更多时间陪这个小家伙儿了 I get to spend more time with this little guy.
失陪一下 Excuse me.
喂? Hello?
对 我是本·库珀 Yes, this is Ben Cooper.
明天? Tomorrow?
好 太棒了 Yes, that's good.
好的 明天见 Okay, I'll see you then.
我很期待 格雷格 拜拜 I look forward to it, Greg. Bye-bye.
好消息? Good news?
是啊 明天面试 Yeah! I landed an interview.
那真不错 That's great.
你觉得怎么样? What do you think of that? What do you think of that?
爸比要面试了 Fommy just landed an interview.
爸比 Fommy.
你听到他说什么了吗? Did you hear him say that?
听到了 Yes!
他刚刚说爸比了 你刚刚叫我了 He just said Fommy! You just said my name!
伙计们 他刚刚叫我爸比了 你们听到他叫爸比了吗? Guys, he just said Fommy. Did you hear him say Fommy?
我是爸比 爸比 I'm Fommy. Fommy!
太酷了 That was so cool.
- 太萌了 - 我是爸比 他说我是爸比 - It's so adorable! - I am Fommy, and he said it.
那么我们的"名人朗读" So, with our celebrity readings,
我们伟大的基层营销活动 our great grassroots marketing campaign...
辛苦了 朱莉 Thank you, Julie...
得到了肯定的评价 and the positive reviews we have coming in...
我们随时准备强力推出 we are poised for a really strong roll-out.
我们明天就要问问美国人 Tomorrow, we are going to ask America...
"有谁准备好跳上宝宝马桶了?" "Who is ready to jump on the potty?"
而且我相当有信心 我们的销量肯定会爆表的 And I'm confident our sales are going to leap over expectations.
在我教我宝贝坐宝宝马桶的时候 I know I would have appreciated this book
我就知道 我要谢谢这本书 when I was potty-training my kids!
这是我儿子 亚历山大 That's Alexander, my son.
谢谢大伙儿 Thank you, guys!
多谢支持 Thank you for all your support with this.
天啊 Oh, man.
我希望你能觉得 这次已经够了 妮娜 I hope that was thorough enough for you, Nina.
我想要你明天 Well, I'm going to need you to make
竭尽全力 为了"宝宝马桶" an incredible effort on "the Potty" tomorrow.
为了"宝宝马桶" On "the Potty."
- 什么 - 尽管放心 - What? - You can count on me.
太好了 如果顺利的话 我会升你做副总的 Good. Because if this goes well, I'm going to make you VP.
真的? Really?
是啊 主营儿童和少儿文学 Have you run Children's Lit and Young Adult.
谢谢 Thank you!
太谢谢了 Thank you.
我时时刻刻 I'm going to need you
无时无刻 都可能需要你 every second of every minute of every day.
我知道 7*24小时 365天 - Got it. - 24/7, 365.
数字太多了 That's a lot of numbers.
很好笑吗 Is that a joke?
我有四个孩子 我还需要点时间 看看他们 I have four kids that I'll just have to carve out a little time to see.
没问题 你当然可以 Right, right, of course. Of course you will.
那不就有一个小宝贝在那坐着吗? Isn't that one of your darling little babies right there?
对 没错 Yeah, it is.
你现在就能去啦 So you're seeing him right now.
好了 国家报告 All right, country reports.
你们都知道 这是这个学期的重要内容 As you all know, this is your big project this semester.
- 所以我觉得啊 - 罗格老师? - So, what I think... - Mr. Rogue?
说 亚历山大 Yeah, Alexander.
我想选澳大利亚 I would like to take Australia.
我相当了解它 I know a ton about it.
而且我还有迪吉里杜管 And I have my own didgeridoo.
嗯 我相信还有很多同学 Yeah, I'm sure there a lot of students
想选澳大利亚 我说的没错吧? here who want Australia. Am I right?
所以 公平起见 这个学期 So to be fair, this semester...
由这个地球仪决定 I'm going to let the globe decide what country.
亚历山大 从你开始 We'll start with you, Alexander.
准备好了吗?走你 You ready? Here we go.
澳大利亚 澳大利亚 Australia. Australia. Australia.
会是啥呢? What will it be?
吉布提 Djibouti.
非洲之角呢 真棒 吉布提 Look at that, the Horn of Africa! All right, Djibouti!
吉什么? Dji... what?
下一个谁来?菲利普·帕克 走你 Who's gonna be next here? Philip Parker. Here we go.
澳大利亚 Australia.
这就是阿诺德·施瓦辛格出生地吗? So, like, Arnold Schwarzenegger and stuff?
那是奥地利 不是澳大利亚 That's Austria, not Australia.
- 能交换吗? - 不行 - Can we switch? - No.
好了 艾伯特·莫里奥 Okay, Albert Morio.
太赞了 黎巴嫩 Lebanon. That's good.
大伙儿快把围裙穿上 找自己的搭档 Partner up, everybody! Get your aprons on. Guys.
贝基... Becky...
能做你搭档吗 do you want to partner?
好啊 你来记实验笔记吧 Okay. You can take lab notes.
硼 0.5毫克 0.5 milligrams of boron.
硼...无聊! Boron... Boring!
贝基啊 我明天晚上要开生日派对 So, Becky, I'm having a birthday party tomorrow night.
本来只请男生的 不过我可以 It was only gonna be guys, but I can...
谢谢 可是我明晚要去菲利普·帕克的派对啊 Thanks, but I'm going to Philip Parker's party tomorrow night.
每个人都会去 I think everyone is.
他那有酸奶冰淇淋机 蹦床 He has a frozen yogurt machine and a trampoline.
我们也不差啊 So do we!
我们也有酸奶冰淇淋机还有跳床 We have a frozen yogurt machine and a trampoline.
- 我的妈啊 - 没错... - Oh, my God! - Well, yeah...
我的实验书! My lab book!
快扑灭它 Put it out!
快灭了 Put it out!
谁干的? Who's responsible for this?
亚历山大 Alexander!
稍等 亚历山大 Alexander! Hold up.
稍等 Hold up!
我要出个差 I'm leaving for a conference
可是梅尔文没人照顾了 and nobody signed up to take Melvin home.
我可不希望它自己过周末 I can't leave him alone all weekend.
那你要干嘛? So, what do you want me to do?
有你它这个小家伙就不会太无聊了 Well, you'll make a furry friend a little less lonely.
难以置信 Unbelievable.
酷啊 有一只豚鼠要寄宿我们家了 Cool, we're hosting a guinea pig.
太赞了 All right!
我们迟到了 Sorry we're late.
我们在超市出了点问题 We had a little diaper trauma at Trader Joe's.
哈喽 Hello!
- 嗨 - 嗨 妈妈 - Hi! - Hi, Mom.
好宝贝儿回来了哈 There's my big boy. Hi!
回来了哈 嗨 大家伙 There you are. Hi, big guy.
- 这是什么? - 梅尔文 - What is that? - Melvin.
我们这周末要照顾它 We're hosting Melvin this weekend.
天啊 Oh, boy.
快去捡起来 洗一洗 亚历山大 Alexander, would you grab that and wash it off, please?
需要大黄蜂就跟需要空气一样 He needs Bumble Bee like he needs air.
我知道 I know, honey pie.
洗完后 把豚鼠拿楼上去 And after that, the pig goes upstairs.
- 好的 - 大黄蜂去洗白白呢 - It's okay. - Bumble Bee's just getting a bath.
马上就飞回来了哈 It will be right back.
我们要用大黄蜂啦 亚历山大 Alexander, we could use Bumble Bee.
就快飞回来啦 Bumble Bee is coming right back,
飞来啦 飞回来啦 right back, right back any second.
别 老爸 Dad, don't!
什么情况? What was that?
甜心 大黄蜂飞没了 Honey, Bumble Bee's gone.
彼得·潘会相当赞的 Peter Pan is going to be awesome.
今天布兰德老师说啊我是最淡定优雅的彼得·潘 Today, Mr. Brand said that I am the most poised and elegant Peter Pan...
他还说会有特权 he's ever had the privilege of working with.
不是吧!哇 什么时候啊 记得提醒我一下 No way! Wow. When is that, again? Just remind me.
明天下午 Mom, hello! It's tomorrow afternoon!
是嘛 Of course.
请准时到场啊 别晚了 Please be on time and don't be embarrassing.
瞧好吧 Best behavior.
亲爱的 别叫我们女儿尴尬哦 Honey, please don't embarrass our daughter.
- 你也一样 老爸 - 收到 - Dad, that includes you. - I know.
别担心啊 我会到的 I'll be there, honey, don't worry.
猜猜明天舞会 公爵的王冠要给谁加冕 Guess who's getting crowned Duke at the prom tomorrow.
真的?恭喜哈 Really? Congratulations.
还没正式宣布呢 但是西莉娅说很可靠 Yeah, it's not official, but Celia heard from a good source.
太疯狂了 It's kind of crazy.
我在跟我们校花拍拖 I'm dating the hottest girl in school...
舞会上要带王冠 一旦我明天收了驾照后 I'm getting crowned at prom, and once I get my license tomorrow...
我想要的就都有啦 I kind of have everything I've ever wanted.
- 上帝保佑 - 等等 - Hashtag blessed, you know. - Wait.
你明天要去考票 Once you get your license tomorrow?
放学后去考 I'm taking my test after school.
老爸说了没多大问题 Dad already said it was cool.
你说了没问题? You said it was cool?
我说行 没说没问题 是说行 I said it was doable. Not cool. I said it was doable.
好的 Okay.
没事儿 我们会考过的 It will be fine. We'll make it.
好了 各位 我也有事儿要讲 Okay, guys, I have some news.
妮娜说 明天新书发布会一切顺利的话 Nina said that if the book launch goes well tomorrow...
那么你们就会看到 孤山出版社的新副总啦 you could be looking at the new Vice President of Lone Hill Press.
哇 亲爱的 Honey, wow!
太赞了 That's big.
那样工作时间就更多了 Yeah, it would be a lot more hours at work...
我感觉到了 I already feel like I live there some days,
但是加薪还是不错的 but the raise would be nice.
太棒了 我也有好消息 Awesome. I have some news as well.
我今天接个电话 I got a call today.
一家游戏设计公司通知我去面试 I have an interview for a game design firm.
招聘工程师 They're looking for engineers.
- 等等 电脑游戏?真的吗 - 真的 - Wait, video games? Really? - Yeah. Yeah.
你们航空工程的老爸 可能要去开发电脑游戏啦 Your aerospace engineering dad might be designing video games.
- 太酷了 - 我知道 - That's so cool. - I know. I know.
最好的消息是 猜猜今天谁开了尊口? The best news of all... Guess who spoke his first word today?
特雷弗 Trevor.
- 不会吧 - 真的 - No! - Yes.
你说啥了 What did you say?
说啥了 What was it?
他说爸比 He said fommy.
- 爸比? - 对 - He said fommy? - Yeah.
- 那是什么? - 妈咪型爸比 - What's that? - Father-mommy.
新鲜词啊 I didn't know that was a word.
我们今天都挺顺的啊 Wow, we all had pretty big wins today.
- 对 - 可不是嘛 - Yeah. - Yeah, tell me about it.
我今天可不太顺 I had a crap day.
这什么味儿? What is that smell?
澳大利亚咸味酱 不喜欢就滚远点 It's Vegemite. It's from Australia, and back off!
明天可是你的大日子啊 Easy. You're gonna have a good day tomorrow.
你生日 你朋友们都会来的 It's your birthday. You have friends coming over,
还有个大派对 it's gonna be a great party.
你们都别想了 我决定取消派对了 Actually, you can forget it, because I'm canceling my party.
- 你在说什么? - 为什么? - What are you talking about? - Why?
没人想来 Nobody's coming.
明天晚上 他们都要去菲利普·帕克的派对 They're all going to Philip Parker's party tomorrow night.
谁是菲利普·帕克? Who is this Philip Parker?
多动症的小屁孩 He's a really cool kid with a hot tub and ADHD.
- 我去给他妈妈打电话 - 不用 - I'm gonna call his mom... - No!
不 不行 我们不用去鸟菲利普·帕克 No, no, no. We're gonna forget about Philip Parker.
不管谁来啊 那都不错 Whoever comes to the party comes. It's gonna be great.
没人会来 相信我吧 Trust me, nobody is coming.
埃利奥特·吉普森把我 Elliot Gibson texted pictures of me
比基尼靓照传遍了学校 in a butt thong to everyone at school.
我的铁子突然就叛变成了菲利普的了 My best friend is suddenly best friends with Philip...
因为他们的医生是同一个 because they go to the same dumb psychopharmacologist.
我的国家报告还没选上澳大利亚 I didn't get Australia for my school report...
完了我用贝基·吉普森的实验本 and I burned down the science lab
还烧了科学实验室 with Becky Gibson's lab notes.
- 什么? - 你把实验室烧了? - What did you do? - You burned down the science lab?
真赞啊 所以你这一天都没顺你的意 Dude, big deal. So things didn't go your way today.
顺我的意? Go my way?
简直就是我最倒霉的一天 It was a totally wrecked bad day.
不单单是今天 And it's not just today!
每天 天天如此 It is every single day. Every day!
你们一点都不鸟我 因为你们都比我过的好 You don't even care because your lives are all so perfect!
我们关心 关心 亲爱的 No, we care. We care, honey.
- 什么? - 甜心 - What? - Sweetie.
大黄蜂飞哪了? Where's Bumble Bee?
被亚历山大杀了 他要哭一晚上咯 Alexander murdered it, so now he's going to cry all night.
- 就不能给买个新的吗? - 不行 - Can't you just get him a new one? - No.
没得选 只有大黄蜂 It's only Bumble Bee. It's the only one he likes.
必须得是大黄蜂 It's gotta be Bumble Bee.
我可真受不了 I can't deal with this.
我得去车里练歌 I'm going to rehearse in the car.
或许是时候让他把奶嘴戒了 Maybe this is the time to wean him from the pacifier.
亲爱的 你说的倒简单 Honey, easy for you to say.
又不是你整天跟他一起 You're not here with him all day.
愿我去追寻梦想 一个美丽的梦想 Think of a wonderful thought Any merry little thought
像云朵天上飘啊飘 Think of Christmas, think of snow
也像雪花飞啊飞 Think of sleigh bells, off you go
来啊 随我一起飞 Like reindeer in the sky
飞啊飞 飞啊飞 You can fly, you can fly You can fly
安东尼? Anthony?
我感觉没人懂我 I feel like no one understands me.
我啊 我懂你 I do. I get you.
是吗? You do?
是啊 你很不可思议 Yeah. Come on, you're amazing.
真的? Really?
你觉得我不可思议? You think I'm amazing?
实话说 我挺爱你 Honestly, I love you so much.
我也爱你 I love you, too.
我更爱你 I love you more.
才不 是我更爱你 No, I love you more.
别勾引我过去抱你的小屁屁哦 And don't get me started on that cute little butt of yours.
说啥? What?
咋了? What?
为啥要对我说"咋了"? Why are you "what" -ing me?
你什么情况? What's your problem?
- 你说啥? - 你不知道我很讨厌你吗 - Excuse me? - You know what? You're so annoying.
你能不能哪怕冷静一秒钟? Why can't you just chill out? For one second?
你真讨厌 You're exhausting.
你开玩笑呢? Are you kidding?
西莉娅 抱歉 刚是我的傻逼弟弟 Sorry, Celia. That was my idiot brother.
西莉娅? Celia?
不会吧 Seriously?
她不接电话了 Now she won't pick up!
我很担心亚历山大 I'm worried about Alexander.
这些年 他生日派对 所有人都放了他鸽子 I mean, of all the years for everyone to bail on his birthday.
自从有了特雷佛 重新上班后 他总是喜怒无常的 He's been so moody since I had Trevor and started work.
他都12岁了 不用担心 Don't worry about it. He's 12.
每个人这时候都这样 Everybody's moody at that age.
他都12岁了? How's he already 12?
对啊 过得真快 I know. Just happened.
这就是重点 一切都太快了 That's the problem. Everything is just happening so fast.
是啊 Yeah.
这屋子就像个火车站 This house is like a train station.
人们进进出出 Everyone's coming and going...
特雷弗第一句话竟然是爸比 and Trevor's first word was "Fommy."
- 我也许听错了 - 我不那么想 - Maybe I misheard that. - I don't think you did.
好了 亲爱的 Honey, come on.
家和孩子我全包了 I got the kids covered. I got the house covered.
你在外面赚银子 You're killing it at work.
还有比这更好的么 Things have never been better.
得了吧 Oh, please.
- 没有比这更好的了? - 是啊 - Never been better? - It's true.
本 Ben...
你都宅家7个月了 you've been unemployed for the past seven months.
有压力吗 Aren't you stressed out?
一点 Yeah. A little bit.
那你为啥不紧张? Why aren't you freaking out more?
紧张能有什么好的 What good would freaking out do?
要有的话 我早就紧张了 Then I'd just be freaked out and unemployed.
明天我会搞定面试的 Tomorrow I'm gonna nail that interview.
马到成功 Big day tomorrow.
现在是12:01 梅尔文 It's 12:01, Melvin.
我生日 It's my birthday.
你在这世上感觉到孤独吗? You ever feel alone in the world?
我就是想让他们明白 I just wish they understood!
只是想让他们知道 I just wish they knew what it felt like...
可怕 糟糕又倒霉的一天是个什么样子 to have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!
你们貌似该起床了 Shouldn't you guys be up?
谁把闹钟按了? Who hit snooze?
- 现在几点了? - 到底谁按的? - What time is it? - Who hit snooze?
- 早上了 - 好好 快点 - It's morning. It's morning. - Okay, okay. Go, go, go.
- 我得洗个澡 - 好 快去 - I have to take a shower. - All right. Okay, okay.
好啦 没事儿 All right, okay. All right.
尿不湿死哪去啦? Does anyone know where the diapers are?
有人! I'm in here!
亲爱的 Honey?
你咋了 没事吧你? Wow! You look terrible. Are you okay?
不 我很不好 彼得·潘是不能感冒的 老爸 No, I'm not okay. Peter Pan can't have a cold, Dad.
好 Okay.
操 Come...
真糟 Harsh.
老弟 我要冲澡 Bro, I gotta take a shower.
我必须去学校 西莉娅不会电话我了 I gotta get to school. Celia won't call me back.
不 别这样啊 尤其是今天 No! No way, not today!
滚出去 Get out, dude.
出去 Get out!
为啥要今天 真尼玛糟糕 Why today? This is the worst day! No!
我要晚了 艾米丽 I am so late. Emily?
我要拿剃刀 亲爱的 I'm coming in for a razor, honey.
- 妈妈 - 老妈 - Mom! - Mom!
- 老妈 出去啊 - 对不起 - Mom, get out! - I'm sorry!
对不起 我穿裤子好了 Sorry. Sorry. I'll wear pants!
操! Mother!
- 早上好啊 - 跟你自己打招呼吧 - Good morning. - Speak for yourself.
- 老爸 - 啥事 - Dad? - Yeah!
特雷弗在放水 尿布呢? Trevor's peeing! Where's his diaper?
我也再找呐 I'm looking!
小寿星好啊 There's the birthday boy.
好 来这 Okay, come here.
你今天得开心呢 知道吗 Okay, you know what? I want you to have a great day.
你又长大了 You are the captain of your ship.
积极 开朗 乐观一点 Steer your ship with positivity.
拜托 Come on!
你们到底什么情况? What is wrong with you people?
安东尼 Anthony!
老爸 你没事吧 Dad, are you okay?
看看 你都长大了 Look, you're older already.
抱歉 我得走了 今儿有个大任务 I'm sorry, honey, I have to run. I have a huge event...
脚疼死了 我要晚了 and my foot is killing me. I'm already late.
本 尿不湿 Ben, put a diaper on it.
我们晚上一起庆祝 好吗 We'll celebrate tonight, okay?
我在找呢 I'm trying.
艾米丽 Emily!
艾米丽 艾米丽 Emily? Emily!
你忘了关车灯 亮了一晚上 You left the light on in my car all night.
没电啦 The battery's dead.
我在车里练歌 都冻感冒了 我也是受害者 I'm the one who had to rehearse in a cold car, and now I'm sick!
彼得·潘 Peter Pan!
- 你头咋了? - 我们得走了 - What happened to your head? - Ben, we gotta go!
长痘了 难看吗? It's a zit. Is it that bad?
贴个创可贴吧 You should put a Band-Aid on that.
本 我们要走了 你送我去 快走 各位 Ben! We have got to go! You are my ride. Let's go, people.
亚历山大 快上车啊 走啦 Alexander, into the car. We have got to go!
大家都出去 快出去 Everybody, out of the house! Broom it out!
别开的这么娘炮 加速 踩油门 Get out of your comfort zone. Push it. Push it.
你又想大黄蜂了.. You miss Bumble Bee, don't you?
为啥安东尼开车? Why is Anthony driving?
我本来就不舒服 I feel sick enough as it is.
今天我要路考 I need practice for my driver's test today.
好吧 那换首歌总行了吧 Okay! Then can we at least change the music, please?
赞 就这首了 That's good. Leave that!
你喜欢这歌?赞啊 You like that? Yeah! That's good.
太赞了 Wonderful.
我竟然能感冒 I can't believe I'm sick.
我不敢相信 这家伙竟然12岁了 I cannot believe that this guy is 12 years old.
谢了 老爸 Thanks, Dad.
这速度可得晚了 This is not gonna work for me.
超车 左转上布鲁克伍德路 You're gonna have to get around there, make a left on Brookwood.
- 没位置了啊 - 爷们儿点 - There's no room. - Get aggressive!
会有位置的 你很赞 We have places to be. You're doing great.
妈妈 你能不能 Mom, do you mind? Please.
咋了?今儿早上的事儿? What? Because of this morning?
我又不是第一次看到你小弟弟了 安东尼 It's not the first time I've seen your penis, Anthony!
- 老妈看到你小弟弟了? - 啊 - Mom saw your penis? - Yep!
我也看过你的 亚历山大 I've seen yours too, Alexander.
这车上的小弟弟老娘全看过 I've seen every penis in this car!
每一个小弟弟 Every penis.
快点 Come on!
操你妈先生 Excuse me, sir!
操你妈 坐在烟灰缸里那傻逼 Excuse me, sir, in the ironic Mini Cooper!
快把你那拿铁丢了 You're gonna have to put down the latte...
完了滚蛋 别逼老娘亲自动手 and move or I am gonna come and do it for you!
傻逼 我要过去 谢了儿子 Sir, I am gonna come... Thank you, son.
冷静 甜心 Easy, hon.
慢点来 慢点来 甜心 Nice and slow. Nice and slow, sweets.
轻点 轻点 Gently, gently.
看 这就好了 There you go, honey.
下车 下车 Move, move, move.
速度 Go, go, go.
大宝 没事的 It's okay, baby.
老妈要走了 祝你愉快 Mom's gotta go. Have a good day.
身上有饭钱吗 Do you have lunch money?
- 有吗? - 有 - Yes? - Got it.
爱你哈 Love you.
老妈 Mom!
再按也没用 This is not gonna work. This is not gonna work!
速度 木管乐队 Let's go! Fold in. Woodwinds, make a window!
快点 孩子们 Come on! Let's go, kids!
上课铃响了 快点 速度 速度 The bell is ringing! Go, march, march!
快走 速度 Move it on in there. Fold in. Hustle!
抱歉 抱歉 快走 Excuse me! Excuse me! Okay, come on!
今天肯定被咒了 This day is so cursed.
大家快闪开 Everybody move out of the way.
闪开 速度 Just move out of the way. Make a window!
- 换你了 - 好 - Go. Here. - All right.
拿好东西 拜拜 Goodbye. Take your stuff.
祝你愉快 亲爱的 Have a good day, honey!
我们快走吧 Here we go, boys.
西莉娅 Celia!
等等 西莉娅 什么情况 Celia, wait up! What's wrong?
你拒接我电话 You haven't answered your phone since last night.
你有什么可在乎的?我觉得我很讨厌 Why do you care? I thought I was so exhausting.
我没说你啊 I wasn't talking to you.
我说的是我那傻逼弟弟 I was talking to my idiot brother.
- 随你大小便 - 我后来可一直给你打来着 - Whatever. - I tried calling you back!
我跟你没啥好说的 I really didn't feel like talking to you.
我觉得你真的不了解 I just don't think you understand...
对女友的 情感责任 the emotional responsibilities that come from having a girlfriend.
等等 你要跟我分手吗? Wait, are you breaking up with me?
那今晚咋整? What about tonight?
我不想去了 I don't even wanna go.
抱歉 早安 Sorry. Morning!
早上好 Good morning!
再打几次 Try calling again!
抱歉车出问题了 来晚了 Sorry I'm late. I had a little car trouble.
我老公送的我 My husband had to drop me off.
- 都怎么了 - 就是这个 - What happened? - This happened!
不只是封面啊 And not just the cover. No.
整本书出现了15次之多 15 times throughout the book.
肯定是印刷那边出毛病了 But it must be some horrible mistake at the printer!
这我不清楚 库珀 你最后核对的 I don't know, Cooper. You're the one who did the final proof!
儿童读物里可不能出现这样的字眼 We can't have that in a children's book!
我们刚才暂停活动了 所以这没啥问题 We just pulled the plug on publication. So, that's good.
但是更大的问题来了 But we have an even bigger problem.
名人朗读 迪克·范·戴克 Celebrity readings. Dick Van Dyke!
我呼叫了他一早上 可他不鸟我 I've been calling all morning, but I can't get through.
我去搞定他 我能搞定的 我能解决的 Oh no. I will get down there. I will fix this. I will take care of this!
他不会读的 He won't read it.
相信我 You can count on me!
艾比 车借我一下 火烧眉毛了 Abby, great. I need to borrow your car. It's a work emergency.
我骑车来的 运动又环保 I ride a bike, actually. It's good exercise and good for the planet.
车在哪? Just tell me where it is!
我满世界找你 Dude, I've been looking for you everywhere.
菲利普·帕克的事儿知道了吗 Have you heard about Philip Parker?
别跟我提他那惊世骇俗的派对了 I don't wanna hear anything more about his amazing party.
不是 他不开了 No. It's canceled.
啥? What?
他长水痘了 Yeah! He woke up with chicken pox.
他还发图片给我了 He texted me this picture.
长了一身啊 These things are everywhere.
屁股上都长了 They're even in his butt crack.
这么说 派对他不办了? So, his party's not on?
不办了 所以大家又要参加你的了 No! So everyone's coming to yours again!
- 真的? - 是啊 - Really? - Great, right?
水痘救了你 His pox is your gain.
我得去一下 I gotta go. I gotta go.
贝基 Becky!
贝基 留步 Becky, Becky. Wait, wait up.
嗨 Hi!
真对不起昨天烧了你的笔记本 I am really sorry about burning your binder yesterday.
今天又是新一天 我想 我们又可以继续 Today's a new day, and I thought that we could go ahead...
乐观向上的开始生活了 and sail our ships with positivity!
哇 好啊 Wow, okay.
菲利普·帕克长了一身水痘 Anyway, Philip Parker has chicken pox.
但是我派对还要继续 But my party's still on.
所以你要是能赏光的话 那肯定会老毙了 So if you want to swing by, it's gonna be pretty cool.
- 是吗? - 是啊 - Is that right? - Yeah.
其实吧 我觉得菲利普可要遗憾的错过这么牛逼的派对了 I actually feel bad Philip's gonna miss such a sweet party, but...
但是 谁叫他得了水痘了呢? what can you do when you got the pox?
呵呵 Okay, maybe.
赞 那我们晚点再见 Fantastic! Maybe I'll see you later then.
好啊 拜拜 Okay. See you.
拜拜 See you!
坏了 No.
这里该多撒点 Should I put more over here?
嘿 小寿星 Hey, birthday boy!
老爸 好消息啊 Nothing goofy, Dad.
- 咋了 亚历山大 - 这个... - What? Alexander? - Yeah...
我们得准备足够50人吃的东西 蛋糕 还有喝的 and we're gonna need enough food, cake and drinks for 50 kids.
- 大伙都会来 - 好好 等下 - Everyone's coming. - Okay, okay. Hold on. Now hold on.
你说啥呢? What are you talking about?
菲利普·帕克得水痘了 Philip Parker has chicken pox.
我的派对又复活了 The party's on!
太好了 真的 That's fantastic. I mean, for you.
是啊 还有你猜怎么了?埃利奥特因为我的艳照门被开除了 Yeah. And guess what? Elliot got busted for text-bombing the school.
所以我打算接受你的建议 开心一些 So I took your advice and steered my ship with positivity.
重点是 贝基·吉普森也会来 And now Becky Gibson might be coming, too.
所以别来变戏法儿了 So no magic tricks.
不要踢踏舞那些土老冒儿了 No tap dancing, nothing dorky.
- 瞧好吧 - 我12岁了 - You got it. - I'm turning 12.
收到 12岁很大了 Got it. 12-year-old cool straight up.
- 快去吧 - 只是有点过敏 - Do it right now. - It's just allergies.
真的? Really?
艾米丽 怎么了 Hey, Em. What's up?
他们要我呆在医务室 They're making me miss dress rehearsal
彩排没戏了 to lay down in the infirmary.
安东尼电话我 And Anthony called me.
他跟西莉娅分了 Celia broke up with him.
他俩不是要去舞会吗 They're going to prom tonight.
明显没戏了 Apparently not anymore.
我能出去一下吗 Can I be excused?
可以 Yes.
干嘛? What?
听着 Listen...
昨晚那事我很抱歉 你得相信我 I am sorry about last night. You have to believe me.
我绝对不会对你说出那样的话来的 I would never say those things about you.
今晚 我要补偿你 And tonight, I'm going to make it up to you.
OOXX X-O-X-O.
我想你 I heart you.
好吧 我只要求今晚一切顺利 Look, I just want everything to be perfect tonight.
请你 Please...
做我的舞伴 be my date for the prom.
这可不是什么"绯闻女孩"你俩 This isn't Gossip Girl, you two.
快进去 西莉娅 Get back inside, Celia.
晚上见 See you tonight.
哦耶! Yes!
走吧 暗黑破坏神 Let's go, Wreck-It Ralph.
校长办公室等着你 Principal's office now!
你确定今天你没法儿照看他了? Are you sure I can't just drop him off with you?
亲爱的 没戏啊 今天真不行 Honey, there's no way. Not today.
保姆呢 What happened to the babysitter?
她今天又放鸽子了 She had to cancel again.
你知道吗 没事 我就把他带上吧 You know what? It's okay. I'll just take him with me.
带着孩子去面试? You're taking Trevor to the interview?
是啊 应该可以吧 Yeah, I'll be fine.
他大黄蜂可没了啊 How's he doing without Bumble Bee?
他... He is...
在忍着呢 他挺好的 He is hanging in there. He's doing okay.
好吧 我得挂了 好运 Okay, honey. I gotta go. I gotta go. Good luck!
谢谢 你也是 亲爱的 Thanks, you too, hon.
什么事 安东尼? Hey, Anthony, what's up?
老爸 我毁了奖品柜子 被处分了 Dad, I broke a trophy case and got suspended.
- 什么? - 你得来接我下 - What? - You have to come and pick me up.
不会吧 你逗我呢 No! You gotta be kidding me.
他们说你得来一趟 They say you need to come get me.
好吧 你在那儿再等等 No, no. You're gonna have to wait at the Principal's
我面试完就去 office till I'm done with my interview.
好啊 我等着 Fine, I'll be here.
好 拜拜 Okay, bye.
注意左边 小心右边 On your left! I'm on your right!
右边小心 On your right. On your left.
你没事儿吧 Are you okay?
没事儿 I'm good. I got it!
别担心 我很好 I'm good. Don't worry!
6月6日 周五 下午一点 迪克·范·戴克先生要朗读 "谁准备好跳上坐宝宝马桶了"
借光 Excuse me.
范·戴克先生 Mr. Van Dyke. Mr. Van Dyke!
我一直在找你 我是来救你的 I have been trying to reach you because I'm here to save you.
我是出版社的 I'm from the publishing company.
这么说吧 我没疯啊 Let me start again. I'm not crazy.
有情传奇执行官 Please welcome legendary performer...
- 不 别 - 他们在叫我了 - No, no. - That's my cue.
我们等会再聊 行吗 We'll have a little chat later, all right?
这事儿不能等会儿再说 This is not something we should leave until afterwards.
现在就得说 范·戴克先生 We wanna have a chat right now, Mr. Van Dyke!
有请迪克·范·戴克先生! Please welcome Mr. Dick Van Dyke!
拜托 Please!
你必须叫他下来 I insist that you get him.
我建议你呆在这里 And I insist you stay right there.
- 嘿 宝贝儿们 - 先生 - Hi, kids! - Sir!
你们好 各位家长们 And hi, moms and dads.
那本书印错了 "跳"印成"拉屎"了 就给我两分钟 There was a misprint! Just two minutes!
你们要是不知道我是谁的话 去问你们爸妈 If you guys don't know who I am, ask your parents.
他们也不知道的话... And if they don't know...
就去问他们爸妈 have them ask their parents.
你们今天会相当愉快 We're gonna have a great time today.
- 我想给你们读一读 - 你可别读啊 - I'm gonna read to you. - You're not gonna want to say...!
我要给你们读一本 非常特别的书 I'm gonna read from a very special book.
准备好了吗? You ready?
起开 我要告诉他 Get out of my way. I need him. Sir!
"就在今天 你长大了 "Today's the day. You're growing up!
我来帮你 "I'm here to help you...
纵身拉屎" "take that dump!"
别读拉 先生 Please don't, sir!
"在水池拉 "Take that dump in the pool!
床上拉 "Take that dump on the bed!
但是可别在你哥哥头上拉" "But, don't take a dump on your, on your brother's head.
"你可以像青蛙一样拉 "You can take a dump like a frog.
我会像狗一样拉" "I'll take a big dump like a dog!"
不 应该是"跳" No! It's "jump"!
是跳 不是拉屎 It's just jump, sir. Not dump.
能允许我失陪一下吗? Would you excuse me for a moment?
我从来没这么弄过 I never agreed to do this kind of...
他们印错字了 There was a misprint.
是像青蛙一条"跳" 印错了一个字 Jump like a frog. One little letter.
印错了 对不起 本来应该是跳的 It was a mistake! It was meant to be jump! I'm so sorry.
她在那 头发乱呼呼的那个 这书是她的 There she is, right there, with the bad hair! She's behind this.
安心 我们肯定能成功的 是吗 Okay, we got this. We got this, right?
你好吗 准备好了吗 You good? You cool? You ready?
你也准备好了吧 You ready to nail this? All right.
哇 Wow.
嘿 他们等着你呢 Hey, man, guys are ready for you.
- 走吧 - 好的 谢了 - Let's go. - Great, thank you.
开始我们还觉得有点奇怪呢 At first we thought it was a little weird
你为什么会来应聘这工作 that you even applied for this job...
因为我们岁数小 可你 because we're pretty young and you're...
有点儿老 Older.
- 对 - 对的 - Yeah. - Yeah.
是有点老 Kind of decrepit.
但我们看了你的简历 But then we took a look at your resume,
你的工作经验很帅啊 and your experience is awesome.
空间站设计团队的一员啊 You're part of the space station design team.
你真有轨道力学的博士学位吗 You have a Ph.D. in orbital mechanics. I mean, for real?
真的 For real.
对不起 Sorry.
嘿 你 Hey, you.
他今儿有点不开心 He's a little out of sorts today.
他的大黄蜂奶嘴坏了 很难买 It's so hard to find the Bumble Bee pacifier.
你总想着 是吧 这样... It would blow your mind. Anyway...
玩这个 Here you go.
他得玩一会儿 He's just gonna play for a while.
孩子们都很疯 And, kids are crazy.
他们挺有趣的 They're fun.
是啊 Yeah.
怎么说? So, what were we talking about?
我们想开发一款新游戏 We're thinking about launching this game.
我们想开发一款空间站主题的策略模拟游戏 We want it to be a space station simulation strategy game.
想要玩家有身临其境 栩栩如生的游戏体验 We want it to be authentic and completely immersive.
听起来挺有趣啊 That sounds really exciting.
正是我的菜啊 That's in my wheelhouse.
太棒了 我们想听一些看法 Great! We wanna hear some ideas.
我觉得第一个点子是模块发展 I guess my first idea would be modular evolution.
很好 Cool.
空间站并不是一成不变的 它们会随着时间而不断变大 Space stations are not static. They grow over time.
所以一开始 空间站要设计的要小 So you would want to start with perhaps a small space station...
然后逐渐变成大空间站 and grow it into an enormous space station.
这么做我觉得玩家们应该会有机会 And I think players should have that opportunity.
添加温室啊 They could add greenhouses.
实验室啊 They could add labs.
可以把空间站营造的 They could grow a space station...
如他们所愿 as big as their imagination.
你的小宝 Your kid.
没事儿 You know what, that'll be fine.
他可以寄养到托儿所 这都不是问题 Because we can get daycare, so that won't be an issue.
不 不是 No, no, no.
我是说你孩子现在 Your kid right now...
脸都绿了 his face is all green.
天啊 Wow, Trev.
特雷弗 Trevor. I know.
这个不能吃啊 That's not for eating.
尤希 你好吗 Yoshi, what's up, man?
有好消息吗? Good news to report or what?
对不起 我们要开视频会 Actually, we have a Skype call we gotta take.
我们会再联系你的 But we will call you back.
再联系? Okay. You'll call me back?
- 对啊 - 好的 - Yeah. - All right.
我们马上出去 Great. All right, we'll head out.
要走了? You ready to go?
安东尼 Anthony,
非得今天要我来接你吗 of all the days for you to get sent home, it had to be today?
老爸 那就是个意外 Dad, it was a freak accident!
算了吧 Don't!
特雷弗怎么了 What happened to Trevor?
老爸 今天真倒霉 That's real mature, Dad.
小鬼 Hey, Salamander.
老爸 Hey, Dad!
特雷弗怎么了? What happened to Trevor?
中午他吃了好吃的绿色马克笔 He ate a delicious green marker for lunch.
- 你怎么在这儿? - 闭肛 - Why are you here? - Shut up.
艾米丽 你不是要呆在那准备你的话剧 Em, I thought you had to stay to get ready for your play.
我要吃药 I need drugs.
有用的药 校医就会给我儿童镇痛剂 Real drugs. The nurse will only give me baby aspirin.
特雷弗这是? What happened to Trevor?
艾米丽 你不能吃这么多药 Emily, we're not gonna pump you full of medicine. You're not a cyclist.
又不是类固醇 我只是需要止咳糖浆什么的 I'm not asking for steroids. I need cough syrup, something.
老爸 你面试怎么样? Wait, Dad! How was your interview?
不太好 It was not a good fit.
没事儿 到时在找吧 But, you know? We'll see what happens.
没事儿 It was fine.
下次吧 Try again next time.
- 哈喽 - 布兰德老师 - Hello. - Hi, Mr. Brand.
我知道他不太完美 但是... I know she's not 100%, but...
他们说 演出还要继续 as they say, the show must go on.
你能不能三点前送她回来 她需要化妆 So, if you could get her back here by 3:00 for hair and makeup...
那可就太好了 that would be tremendous.
艾宝 你不太好啊 Em, you look terrible.
做替补演员吧 Maybe you should have your understudy do it?
没门 那些紧身衣非我莫属 快送我去药房 No! Nobody wears those tights but me. Pharmacy, pronto!
紧身衣 非她莫属 Nobody wears the tights but her.
有收银员能去2号收银台吗 Any available cashier to register two.
强力的还是普通的? Extra strength or regular?
你寻思呢? What do you think?
请问这里有卖大黄蜂的奶嘴吗? Excuse me. Do you have a Bumble Bee pacifier?
非得大黄蜂的? Does it have to be Bumble Bee?
是啊 It has to be the Bumble Bee.
他只喜欢这个 Yes, because this ain't gonna last.
有劳 Thank you.
名人朗读会怎么样? Hey, how'd the reading go?
本来该好的 It could've gone better.
甜心 一定很棒吧 Honey, I'm sure it was great.
这个... Well...
我相信一定挺好的啊 是么 Well, you know what, I'm sure it was not that bad, really.
那个头发乱呼呼的女人 That girl with the awful hair, I think.
不 我觉得 可能 很糟糕 No, no. I thought, maybe... No, it's bad.
- 非常糟糕 可能会被炒了 - 不是吧? - It was bad. It was lose-my-job bad. - Really?
安东尼 别这样 Anthony, come on! No, please. Stop it.
- 我只是 - 别喷了 - No, I'm just... - Stop it!
你干嘛呢?安东尼怎么跟你一起? What are you doing? Why is Anthony with you?
他被学校喝茶了 He was suspended from school...
破坏公物 for destroying school property.
- 啥?什么情况? - 没事儿了 - What? What happened? - It's fine.
是个意外 晚点我再告你详情 It was an accident. I'll tell you about it later.
好 艾米丽在喝止咳糖浆 Okay, so, Em is getting her cough syrup.
我要送安东尼去路考 I'm taking Anthony to his driver's test.
还有个好事儿 And, good news!
派对继续 有50个小朋友来家玩 50 kids are coming over tonight. The party is on!
天啊 这个... Boy, this is...
- 我们见面聊吧 我在跟前儿呢 - 好啊 - Maybe I should meet you. I'm not far. - It's fine!
甜心我完全 稍等 Hon, I'm totally... Hold on.
没找到 No, we don't have one.
老爸我希望他能发誓 Daddy wishes he could swear right now.
有个问题 Question.
这种记号笔有毒吗 Permanent marker, do you know if it's poisonous?
他可能吃了点下去 Because he might have ingested some.
啥? What?
- 本 - 甜心 - Ben! - Honey, honey...
- 我来了 - 不不 都好 - I'm coming! - No, no, no! I'm good.
告诉特雷弗 妈妈马上到 Tell Trevor Mama's on her way!
没人啊 Nobody's home.
打电话吧 Call 'em, dude.
安东尼 你确定准备好了? Anthony, are you sure you're up for this today?
老爸 没机会了 我跟西莉娅保证了 Dad, it's now or never. I promised Celia.
好啊 值得用心去做值得做的事情 All right. Well, anything worth doing is worth doing well.
别撞人了啊 Try not to kill anybody.
你好 对 Hello. Yeah.
我没那么快回去 门没锁 I'm not gonna be back for a while, so, the gate's open.
进去就行了 开始布置吧 Just go in, start setting everything up.
你确定你们能搞定吗 Are you sure you guys can handle this?
对啊 瞧好吧 我们会搞定的 Yeah, yeah, no problem. We'll be ready to party.
好啊 Okay.
- 好啊 太棒了 - 再见 - Okay, great. - See you later.
谢了 Thanks.
- 开整吧 - 好啊 - Let's do this. - Yeah.
艾米丽 你得听说明书的 Emily, just the recommended dosage, please.
那东西劲儿很大的 That stuff's pretty strong.
嗨 伙计们 Hi, guys.
妈妈驾到 Hey, there's Mama.
我的大宝儿怎么绿了 Why is my baby green?
有点乱 Well, things went a little awry today.
大宝 Honey.
- 看看这是谁啊 - 本 他怎么绿了 - Look who it is. - Ben, he's green.
- 我知道 - 这是什么? - I know. - What is this?
记号笔 没事儿 朗读会怎么样了? It's marker. It's fine. How did it go? How was the reading?
我觉得很糟糕 我的事业估计要被宝宝马桶冲走了 It was awful. I think I pretty much flushed my career down the potty.
怎么回事? Why, what happened?
别提了 有湿巾吗? Never mind. Can I have the wipes?
- 老爸 - 对不起 - Dad! - Sorry. I'm sorry.
你看我说吧 今儿就被诅咒了 I told you this day was cursed.
对不起 Sorry.
库珀 安东尼·库珀 Cooper. Anthony Cooper.
- 好了 祝我好运 - 是啊 宝贝 - All right, wish me luck. - Good luck, baby.
- 拿着 - 安东尼·库珀 - Here you go. - Anthony Cooper.
等等 安东尼 Wait, Anthony!
你考不过的 别考了 Please don't do it today. You're gonna fail.
亚历... Alexander...
别碍着你老哥 give your brother some space, please.
是啊 等你再看到我时 Yeah, the next time you see this face,
那就是在驾照上了 it's gonna be on my driver's license.
考不过的 It's not coming off.
速度 演出等着我呢 Just hurry up! I need to get to my play.
什么人啊 What kind of a person...
没有毒的 It's not poisonous.
我觉得吧 I don't think it's poisonous.
考官好 我是安东尼 我很高兴 Hi, I'm Anthony. I'm really excited...
你知道两件事就行了 There are only two things you need to know.
我叫萨格斯 你的路考考官 My name is Ms. Suggs and I'll be your driving examiner.
你可能是学校里的老大 Now, you may be the big man on campus out there...
但在这儿 我是老大 but in this minivan, I'm the B.M.O.C.
明白? You get me?
把手放在10点和2点方向 我看看你怎么开车 Now put your hands at 10 and 2, and show me what you can do.
老妈 你干嘛呢 Hi, Mom, how you doing?
今天咋样? How's your day going so far?
- 对了 我得去 - 去哪啊 - Okay, I'm just gonna... - What?
打个电话 Just make this little call.
打吧 Okay.
嗯 是... Yeah, it's...
库珀 你死哪去了 Cooper! Where are you?
我家人出了点事儿 所以 My family had a little situation, so...
真的啊?真有意思 Really? That's funny.
我们这儿也不巧出了点状况 Because we're having a little bit of a situation here!
电话就没断过 The phones are going crazy.
朗读会到底是个神马情况 What happened at that reading?
来了很多人 Well, it was a really good crowd.
很多人 出席率爆棚 It was a big, big crowd. Big turnout.
家长们有很多话要说 And the parents seemed to have a lot to say.
- 他们很活跃 - 是吗 - They responded. - Did they?
他们是不是要讲 迪克·范·戴克 要他们的孩子 Did they respond to Dick Van Dyke asking their toddlers...
像狗一样大便? if they could take a dump like a dog?
我觉得我能相信你 I thought I could count on you.
等会再说 We'll discuss this later.
我很期待...我很期待 I look forward to... I look forward to that.
告诉我哈 安东尼 你上岁数了吗 Tell me something, Anthony. Are you a senior citizen?
没 考官 No, ma'am.
那你为啥在限速25英里的地方开15英里? Well, then why are you driving 15 miles an hour in a 25 mile zone?
踩点油门 伙计 Come on, speed it up.
看 这就对了嘛 That's right. That is right. Boy.
变道 Change lanes.
现在右拐 Now, I want you to take a right up here.
不错嘛 All right. Okay.
西莉娅的电话哈 Celia's calling.
我女朋友 估计是舞会的事儿 It's my girlfriend. Probably wants to talk prom plans.
今晚的舞会 先不管她 Tonight's the prom. Well, I'll just ignore that.
她好像很着急找你的样子 It seems like she's very anxious to talk to you.
不 不行 我开车呢 No. No, no. I'm driving.
开车不能接电话 I would never answer the phone when I'm driving.
- 不接吗 - 不接 任何情况 - No. - No matter what circumstance.
舞会可不是天天都有的哦 But, you know, proms don't happen every day.
对哈 That's true.
可以吗?很快就好 不会... You sure? It'll just be super quick. It's not...
你重要的事儿 我也很重要 What's important to you is important to me.
是不? Right?
西莉娅 我不方便打电话现在 Hey, Celia. I can't really talk right now, but...
- 快放下手机 - 你说啥? - Put the phone down! - What?
放下手机! Put the mobile device down now!
看路啊 Eyes on the road!
不 不要啊 No, no!
你会害死我们的 You're gonna kill us!
你神马情况? What is wrong with you?
你干什么呐 What are you doing?
你在...你要干神马?你这傻逼 What are you... What are you doing? You fool!
你耍我 You tricked me!
给我下车 Get outta this car.
- 下车 - 你太操蛋了 - You get out of this car. - You're evil!
你舞会完蛋了 You prom creep!
- 我觉得他没考过 - 出去 - I don't think he passed. - Get out!
快滚! Get out!
这全是你的错 This is your fault.
要是你没害我跟西莉娅吵架 If you hadn't caused a fight between me and Celia...
我也绝对不会去接电话 I would've never picked up that call...
- 考试也不会砸 - 别这样 - and failed my test. - No, no, no.
你不能赖别人 安东尼 Anthony, you are not passing the blame on this one.
我都说过了 今天不太适合考票 I told you today might not be a good day to take the test.
老爸 我今天必须考票 Dad, I had to take the test today.
不 你不用非得今儿考票的 No, you didn't have to take the test today.
全是亚历山大害的 It is all Alexander's fault.
要是他没把特雷弗的大黄蜂杀了 If he hadn't dropped Trevor's paci down the disposal...
我也就不用钻车里排练 也就不会感冒了 I never would have rehearsed in a cold car and gotten sick.
你也脱不了干系 That's also your fault.
你要是没浪费一晚上电的话 If you hadn't left the battery on in my car all night...
我就不会迟到了 I wouldn't have been late to work...
迪克·范·戴克也不会生我的气 and Dick Van Dyke wouldn't be mad at me.
詹·齐米妮想宰了我 知道吗? Chim Chiminey wants to kill me! Can you imagine?
老妈 特雷弗哭的停不下来 我要去哪排练? Mom, Trevor was crying! Where was I supposed to rehearse?
你怎么可能会撞坏街上的每一个停车计时器? How were you able to hit every parking meter on that street?
算了吧 我早上洗澡的时候老妈你都看到我的小弟弟了 When I was in the bathroom this morning, Mom saw me naked!
你一点也不留情啊 I don't think you left a speck of paint!
都赖她 她这个老婊子 Her fault! She's an evil woman.
一件又一件啊 One right after the other.
闭嘴! Stop, you guys!
闭嘴! Okay, stop!
都是我害的 It was my fault.
所有事儿都赖我行了吧 I'm to blame for all of it. For everything.
看到没?我就说的 Yeah, see? I told you.
等会儿 No, hold on, hold on.
亚历山大 你说什么呢 Alexander, what are you saying?
听着 Okay, look.
我昨晚自己做了一杯生日圣代 Last night I made myself a birthday sundae
对着蜡烛许了个愿 and I made a wish on a candle...
诅咒了你们所有人 and I think I cursed this day for all of you.
- 你干嘛了? - 对不起 - You did what? - I'm sorry.
我只是想让你们都知道 I just wanted you guys to know what it was like...
倒霉的日子是个什么滋味 to have a massively horrible, terrible day.
所以我许的愿 So I wished it...
都灵验了 and now you're all having one.
亚历山大 我真难相信啊 Alexander, as incredible as it would be...
你会有这样的超能力? for you to have that kind of supernatural ability...
你诅咒不了的吧 I don't think you can actually curse a day, buddy.
是啊 甜心 这不赖你 Yeah, sweetie, this isn't your fault.
我们只是期望的太高 We just bit off more than we could chew today...
结果跌得很惨 and it isn't going our way.
我真诅咒了 No, look, I did curse the day.
我也不知道是怎么弄的 但是它的确奏效了 I don't know how, but I did, and it worked.
现在艾米丽的演出泡汤了 And now Emily's gonna miss her play...
安东尼也不能带着西莉娅去舞会了 and Anthony's not gonna be able to drive Celia to the prom.
他为了能带着她出去玩可等了一年呢 He's been waiting all year to make out with her in the back of the van.
好吧 我们不想听这些 Okay, we don't need to hear that.
好 对不起 Okay, I'm sorry.
真心的 I'm really sorry.
忘了我的派对吧 Just forget my party.
反正也就是那样吧 It'll be a disaster anyway.
不接受你的道歉 Apology not accepted.
听着 Look...
今天这一天还没有都过完呢 this day is not ruined, because this day is not over yet.
老爸说的很对 Dad, you're so right.
我不能因为感冒而错过了演出 I may be sick, but there's no way I'm missing opening night.
我也不能因为弄坏了车子 I may have wrecked the van...
而错过和西莉娅的舞会 况且现在还没错过 but I'm not missing prom with Celia. I can't.
我们今天是不会被打败的 Look, we are not going to let this day get the better of us.
就好比上个星期 It's like last week at Target
爸爸把特雷弗丢在了塔吉特商店里45分钟 when Dad lost Trevor for 45 minutes.
- 好吧 - 是 - Okay. - Yeah.
店长本来想报警的 And the store manager wanted to call the cops...
但是爸爸拒绝了 but Dad said, "No!"
- 我们找到他了 - "我们要继续找" - We found him. - "We are gonna keep looking."
你们要继续找我宝贝儿? We will keep looking for my baby?
"我们会找到宝宝的" "We will find my baby."
他们当时封锁了出口 所以没事儿 They sealed the doors. It was fine.
- 你到底什么情况? - 好了 好了 - What's wrong with you? - Okay, okay, okay, okay.
好了啦 Okay, guys, okay.
都3点了已经 我们得闪了 It's past 3:00, so if we're gonna go, we gotta do this now.
准备好了吗 库珀一族? Are we ready, Coopers?
好啦 如果你相信精灵的话 拍拍手吧 All right! Clap those hands if you believe in fairies!
你还好吧 艾米丽 Emily, are you okay?
当然 Mom! Positivism. Let's do this thing.
快上去 快上去 Get in there, get in there.
- 安全带 - 安全带 - Buckle, buckle! - Buckle, buckle!
去 快去 Go, go, go, go, go!
我们不小心把你的燕尾服弄错给别人了 It seems we may have accidentally given your tux away.
要回来啊 Well, get it back.
先生 这不太好办啊 Sir, I cannot un-tux a client.
我妹妹有个演出 还有也就10分钟了 My sister's Peter Pan and we've got 10 minutes till curtain.
你最好要回来 You better un-tux something.
有一招 或许你可以换一套 There is one option. You might be able to pull it off.
快闪 走啦 快啊 All right, fire up. Come on, let's go.
库珀一族驾到 Coopers on the move!
我们到了 We got it.
快找位置去 安东尼 All right. Anthony, find a seat.
好运 艾宝 Break a leg, Em.
我来了 I'm here!
还得再来点 Get some more of this.
宝贝 宝贝 Honey? Hon, hon.
宝贝 你喝的足够了 Em. Em. Sweetie, I think you've had plenty of that.
没事 宝贝 It's okay, honey.
- 彼得·潘驾到 - 让一让 借个光 - Peter Pan is here, everybody! - Excuse me, people.
- 彼得·潘来拉 - 借下光 各位 - Everybody, Peter's here! - Excuse us, excuse us.
- 你太靓了 - 明星登场了 - You look so pretty. - Superstar coming through.
巨星 Superstar
对不起 大家 Excuse me, everyone.
好啊 All right.
我喜欢你衣服 I love your outfit.
好啊 Okay.
我说了3点到 I said 3:00.
你真不知道今天是啥日子啊 You have no idea the kind of day we are having.
能来就算奇迹饿 It's a miracle we're here.
你们晚了 这态度可不够专业 Well, you're late, which is not professional behavior.
不专业? No! And it's not professional...
八年级的彼得·潘啊 这是 because this is an eighth grade production of Peter Pan.
你去看看我们的车吧 And if you could take one look at our minivan...
我可不是来捣乱的 布兰德老师 Mr. Brand, I am not somebody that you wanna mess with right now.
快给她穿上那绿绿的演出服和绳子吧 So grab her some green tights and a harness...
还有她的小叮当 and fire up her Tinker Bell!
衣服穿好了后 As soon as you have your costumes on...
收拾收拾发型啊 go for your hair.
就该这样 Way to go, Daddy-O!
- 祝你好运 宝贝 - 好运 - Break a leg, sweetie. - Good luck!
我们先帮你收拾 艾米丽 演出要开始啦 Show's about to start, Emily. We've got to get you going.
一切尽在掌控 你没事儿吧 Everything's under control. Yeah. You okay?
没 Yeah.
- 太激动了 - 是啊 - I'm excited about this. - Yeah.
一切顺利 It's gonna be great.
我也这么想 Yeah, I think so.
爸爸 妈妈 晚上好 Good night, Mother. Good night, Father.
快点你俩 我要讲个故事 Now, you two be quiet and I'll tell you a story.
什么故事? What sort of story?
老好的故事 The best sort.
有一个地方 充满了魔力 住着仙女和海盗 One filled with magic and fairies and savage pirates...
永恒岛 called Never Never Land.
大家好啊 Hi, hello!
不 No!
我是名字叫彼得·潘的帅小伙 I'm a little boy named Peter Pan!
- 大家好 你们好吗? - 她犯什么疯 - Hello! How are you? - What's wrong with her?
糖浆喝高了 It must be the cough syrup.
很高兴见到你们 So good to see you.
彼得·潘驾到 Peter Pan is in the house!
愿我去追寻梦想 Think of a wonderful thought
拿那钩子 给她拽下来 Get the hook and get her down!
美丽的梦想 Any merry little thought
- 天啊 - 拽她下来 - Oh, no! - Hook her down! Hook her!
飞啊飞 飞啊飞 I'm floating. I'm floating.
抓住她 Get her!
随我一起飞 Reindeer in the sky
快啊 Let go!
- 拽她下来 - 放开我 - Get her down! - Let go of me!
放开我 Let go of me right now!
松手! Let go!
大家一起飞啊 Everybody, fly!
她在那儿呢 不会有事儿的 She's okay. She's all right. There she is.
嗒嗒 Ta-da!
谢谢大家 谢谢 Thank you, everybody. Thank you.
我的天啊 约瑟芬 嗨 Oh, my God, Josephine, hi!
嗨 丹尼尔 Daniel, hi!
大家都好 赐予你们我的魔法药粉 Hi! Hello, everybody. Take some pixie dust!
谢谢谢谢 Thank you, thank you!
她是喝了多少糖浆啊这是? How much cough syrup did she have?
很明显 高了呗 Clearly, way too much.
她在那呢 There she is.
- 嘿 - 宝贝 - Hi! - Hey, honey.
哇 Wow.
刚刚太刺激了 Well, that was an incredible thing to watch.
我好像把虎克船长鼻子给伤了 I think I broke Captain Hook's nose.
甜心 不赖你 Sweetie, it's not your fault.
我们今天不该带你来的 We shouldn't have let you go out there today.
对 你药喝的太多了 不该来的 No, you can't fool around with medicine, hon.
艾米丽 Emily. Emily.
你太帅了 Dude, you crushed it!
我去换燕尾服 I gotta change into my tux.
- 布兰德老师 - 别说了 - Mr. Brand? - Not now.
千万别说 Can't speak.
甜心 不会出事儿的 Honey, it's all going to be okay. Trust me.
我爱你 老爸 Love you, Dad.
我也是 Love you, too.
上帝 甜心 吐出来就会舒服了 Okay, sweetie. Okay, honey. That felt good.
你得吐出来 You get that out.
我们出去透透风儿吧 Let's go outside and get you some air.
对不起 I'm sorry.
没关系 宝贝 No, honey, it's fine.
- 好了 - 没事儿 - Okay. - It's fine.
她啥时候开始吃胡萝卜了 When did she start eating carrots?
你姐姐命中可真高啊 Your sister has excellent aim.
还有毛巾吗 Can I have another towel?
谢了 Thanks. Oh, man.
喂? Hello?
格雷格啊 Hey, Greg.
没问题 No, now's a fine time.
是吗? You did?
没惊讶 我还以为面试失败了呢 No, I'm not surprised. I thought it was a killer interview also.
你想见我?好啊 You wanna meet? Okay.
其实现在不太方便 Well, now actually isn't a really good time.
别 千万别 No. No, no, no.
- 答应下来 - 纳迦玛姬喝酒? - Go, go, go! - Drinks at Nagamaki?
- 去啊 - 请稍等下 格雷格 - Go! - Could you hold on a second, Greg?
亚历山大 我很感谢你的意思 Alexander, I appreciate what you're trying to do...
但是我们够倒霉的了 but our plate is full.
孩子 我们今晚还有事儿呢 We got too much going on tonight, kiddo.
老爸 被诅了还是没被诅? Dad, curse or no curse...
争取啊 just go for it!
我会赴约 Greg, we're gonna go for it.
等下纳迦玛姬见 Yeah, I will see you at Nagamaki later, okay?
好啊 我很期待 谢谢 拜 Okay. Good. I look forward to it. Thanks. Bye-bye.
太毙了 Awesome!
好 我有点臭 Okay. I reek.
是啊 稍等 You do. Look. Wait.
这件不错 This looks like your size.
我可不穿宽松衫 I'm not going to wear a pirate blouse.
宽松衫还是臭衣服 你选吧 Pirate or puke, your choice.
别上火 艾米丽 It's okay, Em.
你今天很勇敢啊 在舞台上飞舞 It took a lot of courage to fly out on that stage tonight.
知道我们有多么为你自豪吗 Do you have any idea how proud we are of you?
你能独当一面 You've always just put yourself out there.
毫无畏惧 You are fearless.
你希望展现一个真正的自我给这个世界 You're willing to show the world who you really are.
了不起啊 That's amazing.
不过你要是想站在百老汇的舞台上 But if you're ever about to take the stage on Broadway...
你得请示我 才能喝糖浆 and you decide to drink a bottle of cough syrup, give me a call.
我来给你定量 Let me talk you out of it.
女士们 我们出海打劫吧 Ladies, care to do some pillaging?
走起 Okay. All right.
这套蓝的还行吧? All right, how did I end up blue?
会是西莉娅的菜 Celia's gonna love it.
蛮复古啊 It's totally retro.
挺好看的 Just own it, kiddo.
很帅嘛 You look ridiculous.
去接你公爵夫人吧 Go get your Duchess, Duke.
我儿子啊 My little boy...
燕尾服 去舞会 in a tuxedo, going to prom...
配着运动鞋... in sneakers.
哇 你靓极了 Wow. You look amazing.
你穿的是啥啊?跟威力·旺卡似的 What are you wearing? You look like Willy Wonka.
换换口儿嘛 I'm trying something different.
什么情况 What's going on?
我路考考砸了 Yeah, I kind of failed my driver's test.
你好美啊 You look beautiful, Celia.
必须的 'Course I do.
裙子很赞 Yeah, that's a sick dress.
西莉娅 我希望你觉得风不是很大 I hope this isn't too much wind for you, Celia.
没 正好能吹走呕吐物呢 It's actually helping with the vomit smell.
有人饿了吗 So is everybody hungry?
- 我 - 我 - I am. - I am.
他们要去吃饭? They're coming to dinner?
别担心 我们不跟他们吃 Don't worry. They're not gonna sit at our table.
- 来点音乐吧? - 好啊 - How about some music? - Yes. Yes.
如我所料 也坏啦 No surprise, the radio's broken.
他们平时无聊时候就这样玩 This is just something that we do for fun sometimes.
想让你笑起来 Figured it'd make you laugh.
我们要去纳迦玛姬 We're going to Nagamaki!
什么?逗我呢? What? Are you kidding me?
- 纳迦玛姬 - 他们在桌子上做菜 - Nagamaki! - They cook it on the table.
桌子上炒菜 They cook it right on the table.
芝士火锅 又不像 Like a fondue, but not.
正宗的日本料理店呢 Supposed to be a very authentic Japanese restaurant.
- 当心点 - 好的 - Be careful. - Yes, sir.
当心 Thank you.
欢迎光临纳迦玛姬 Konnichiwa. Welcome to Nagamaki!
两桌儿 Table for two, please.
这面请 Right this way.
他们在那呢 There they are.
你还好吧? You okay?
嗯 Yeah.
别紧张 加油 你可是我见过最聪明的人啊 Honey, come on. Ben, you're the smartest guy I know.
你可是个火箭科学家 搞定他们小菜一碟 You're literally a rocket scientist. You've got these guys.
塞进去好一点? Is it better tucked in?
完 你犹豫了 我去了 You hesitated. Here we go.
- 加油 老海盗 - 谢了 拜 - Go get them, buccaneer. - Thanks. Bye.
- 好运啊 - 好运 加油 - Good luck. - Good luck, good luck.
伙计们好 Hey, fellas.
海盗服吗? Is that a pirate's blouse?
对 Yaar!
是的 没错 Yes, it be!
太帅啦 Yaar-some!
快登船吧 朋友 Climb aboard, matey!
他怎么样? How's he doing?
很开心看起来 He looks like he's having fun.
是吗 He does?
他们很喜欢他啊 They look impressed.
很好 Good.
正如我说 可以多人在线 That is exactly what I am talking about. You have multi-players...
生存模式 Survivor-style.
空间站的生存模式 It's Survivor on a space station.
真好啊 多人在线 你觉得呢 That's so cool. Multi-player. What do you think?
- 尤希会喜欢的 - 那必须啊 - Yoshi's gonna flip. - It would be sick.
敬本 To Ben.
宇宙海盗 The space pirates.
- 宇宙海盗 - 宇宙海盗 - Space pirates. - Space pirate.
你确定你不是充话费送的吧? Are you sure you're not adopted?
你该试试大虾 非常好吃 You should try a shrimp. They're really good.
虾过敏 I'm allergic to shrimp.
你该清楚你女友对什么过敏啊 You should know what your girlfriend's allergic to.
对不起 Yeah, sorry.
OOXX? X-O-X-O?
安东尼 我真不敢相信 我们人生中相当重要的一晚 Anthony, I just can't believe, on the most important night of our lives...
你带我过来 我却得看着别人 you brought me to a place where I have to watch my food...
在我面前做菜的地方吃饭 get cooked in front of me.
谁能在舞会之前来纳迦玛姬啊? Who goes to Nagamaki before the prom?
太匪夷所思了 对么 It's so amazing, okay?
看 霍普和黛儿 啊 还有希瑟和戴夫 Look! It's Hope and Dale and Heather and Dave!
嘿 伙计们 Hey, guys.
哟 西莉娅 好啊 安东尼? Hey, Celia. What's up, Anthony?
天啊 你靓爆了 O-M-G! You look beautiful.
- 最喜欢这话了 - 谢谢 - Love it. - Thanks.
你们也喜欢这地方? Don't you guys just love this place?
是呗 爱死了 Totally. I die for it.
妈呀 我也一样 待会见? Oh, my God, me too. I'll catch you guys later?
好 Okay.
宇宙海盗 宇宙海盗 宇宙海盗 Space pirate! Space pirate! Space pirate!
清酒炸弹! Sake bomb!
看来不会有问题了 It sounds like it couldn't be going better.
阿南达大厨 我要吃虾 Chef Ananda! Shrimp me.
准备好了吗? You ready?
准备好了 Yeah, I'm ready.
第一块 One! That was one.
耶 Yeah!
继续 Fire it up!
3 Three!
4 Four!
继续 Keep it going.
5 Five!
6 Six!
7 Seven!
8 Eight!
9 Nine!
10 Ten!
老妈 老爸玩的太嗨了 Mom, Dad's on fire!
希望吧 I hope so!
不 不 我是说他着火了 No, no, no. He's really on fire!
趴下打滚 趴下打滚 Drop and roll, Ben. Drop and roll.
趴下打滚 Drop and roll!
趴下打滚 亲爱的 Stop, drop and roll, honey.
老爸? Dad?
手还在 I still have me arms!
谢谢你们了 Thank you for your time.
你真行啊 你真可以啊 本 Nice job, you really nailed it. Really nailed it, Ben!
你以为你是谁吗?你是纳迦玛姬火焰海盗吗 You know who you are? You're the flaming pirate of Nagamaki!
谢谢 Thank you!
- 老爸 - 大伙儿 - Dad! - Hey, guys.
你没事儿吧 Are you okay?
我很好 Yeah! I'm good.
我没事儿 I'm fine.
很好 It's all good.
没事儿 It's all good.
老爸 Dad...
你没必要总是强装开心 you don't always have to steer your ship with positivity!
我们很欣慰你总是鼓励我们振作 You keep us up and we really appreciate it.
但是有时候就是这么倒霉 But some days are just bad.
没得逃的 Nothing can fix it.
相信我 Trust me.
我知道 I would know.
至少我们还在一起不是么 At least we're all together now.
保护你们是我的责任 It's my job to take care of you guys.
要确保你们过的开心 And, make sure you don't have bad days.
- 你们要是过得不好那就是我没做好 - 本 - And when you do, it's on me! - Ben.
我觉得... I think that you just...
不经历风雨 哪能见得彩虹 got to have the bad days so you can love the good days even more.
今天是很不顺 This day has been terrible!
糟糕的一天 Terrible day.
可怕的一天 Yeah! A horrible day!
不顺的... A no-good...
糟糕的一天 Very bad day!
你知道我的想法儿吗 You know what I think?
我觉得今儿太操蛋了 I think this day sucks!
没错儿 Yes! It does.
谢谢 Thank you!
我爱你们 I love you guys.
过来 Come here.
喘不上气了 Can't breathe!
- 你确定? - 是啊 跟我们一车吧 - You sure? - Yeah, totally. Come with us.
好啊 太好了 好消息 车上还有地方 Okay, cool. All right, so, good news. They have room...
他们说可以让我们搭车 and they said we could go with them.
我不知道 I don't know.
你不知道是什么意思? What do you mean, you don't know?
我们可不能跟你疯癫的家人坐一辆废车啊 We're not going in some busted-up minivan with your crazy family.
你自己去吧 You know what, go without me.
啥? Excuse me?
你不去舞会了? You want me to go to the prom without you?
我就是这意思 Yes. That's what I want.
我今晚要跟家人在一起 I'm sticking with my family tonight.
你选他们不选我? You're choosing them over me?
是的 Yes, Celia. I am.
因为那是我的家人 Because they're my family.
要是他们疯了 那我估计会比他们更疯 And if they're crazy, then I guess it makes me crazy, too.
晚上吃好喝好 公爵夫人 Have fun at the prom, Duchess.
你在干什么啊 What are you doing?
不管他 Forget it.
咋了?不去了? So, what? No prom?
舞会啊 动真格的要明年呢 It's junior prom. The real one's next year.
西莉娅呢? What about Celia?
有东西要比西莉娅可重要 I realized there's more important things than Celia.
- 你确定? - 当然 - You sure? - Very.
很高兴你能加入 Good to have you on board.
谢谢老爸 Thanks, Dad.
你打我干什么? What was that for?
没祝你生日快乐啊 I didn't wish you happy birthday yet.
微笑来自你的心底 When there's a smile in your heart
那便是最好的开始时间 There's no better way to start
世界丢在脑后 Think of all the joy you'll find
没有话可以形容 When you leave your past behind
它咋进去的? How did he get in there?
没事儿 It's okay.
加小心 老爸 Dad, be careful.
它走了 There it goes.
能进了 It's okay.
跟着我 Stay behind me.
哇 Wow.
那有只袋鼠 Guys, there is a kangaroo out there.
鸸鹋 And an emu.
它们一开始没打算来这里的吧 I don't think they were meant to be presented in quite this way.
袋鼠宝宝 And a wallaby.
你对动物了如指掌啊 Wow, you really know your animals.
它们都是澳大利亚的 什么情况 Yeah, they're all Australian. What's going on?
它们一开始没打算来这里的吧 I don't think they were meant to be presented in quite this way.
- 嗯 - 嗨 - No. - Hi!
你是库珀吧 You must be the Coopers.
对啊 不是只是建个迷你动物园吗 Hey, yeah! This was supposed to be a petting zoo?
澳洲主题小型动物园 A confined Australian petting zoo.
是啊 笼子漏了 跑了只袋鼠 Yeah, it is. One of the pens was open and the kangaroo got out.
跑了只袋鼠 Yeah, the kangaroo.
客厅里那鳄鱼又什么情况 There was also a crocodile in our entry hall.
对不起啊 So sorry about that.
它本来该在泳池的 溜了个号儿 We had him in the pool, and we got distracted.
不用担心 它会该回哪回哪的 You don't have to worry about it. I'll put him back in the pen.
现在就放进去么 Okay, you got him from here on out?
- 是啊 - 好啊 - Yeah! - Okay, great. Thanks.
放心吧 库珀先生 We got you, Mr. Cooper.
- 没事的 - 好 - It'll be fine, right? - Yeah.
- 我觉得它不会再出来了 - 嗯 - I don't think he's gonna get out again. - No.
都是为我准备的? You guys did all of this for me?
是啊 我和你妈感觉你估计喜欢在澳洲过生日 Yeah! Your mom and I thought you might enjoy a night in the Outback.
来摸摸它 You can pet him if you want.
它叫温斯顿 His name's Winston.
你好 温斯顿 Hello, Winston.
太帅了 This is amazing.
好了 大伙儿 客人们随时都会到 Okay, guys? We've got guests coming any minute.
我们得快点布置 So here's what we have to do.
艾米丽 去放音乐 安东尼 快去给烤架点火 Emily, you're on music. Anthony, fire up the barbie.
老妈 点心 Mom, snacks.
亚历山大 你替妈妈来照顾特雷弗 Alexander, why don't you help Mom keep
别让小动物们给咬了 Trevor away from anything that will eat him?
明白 保护宝宝安全 Baby safety. 10-4.
我们准备就绪了 I think we're all good now.
超级库珀 Super Coopers!
列尼 快回来 Lenny! Get back here.
列尼 谁给抓回来 Lenny! Someone get him!
- 我去 - 本 - I am on it! - Ben!
列尼! Lenny!
- 本 - 老爸? - Ben! - Dad?
列尼 Lenny!
好 Okay!
太棒了 That was pretty good!
你在哪啊? Where are you?
你去哪了? Where are you?
嗨 Hey!
嘿 Hey there...
派对袋鼠 party kangaroo.
我叫本... I'm Ben...
我想让你跟着我 and I want you to join me...
回派对去 back at the party.
嗯 Yeah!
干的漂亮 库珀先生 Nice work, Mr. Cooper.
德韦恩 谢了 Thank you, Dwayne.
我们走吧 列尼 Come here, Lenny. Here we go.
好啊 伙计 What's up, man?
不赖吧? Pretty cool, huh?
太赞了 这个派对 This party's gonna be killer, dude.
伙计们好啊 Hey, guys!
你老爸真酷 Your dad is hardcore!
看到了吗? Dude, did you see that?
- 嘿 - 你好 - Hey! Hey! - G'day.
澳大利亚牛仔是吗 You must be my Australian cowboys.
- 没错儿 - 太赞了 - We sure are. - Awesome!
你们好帅 Wow! You guys are in good shape.
嘿 妮娜 你好吗 Hey, Nina, how are you?
游戏公司的 It's the video game guys!
- 对 - 没事儿 现在就能说 - Yeah. - No, it's a great time to talk.
没事儿 只是焦了几根汗毛 No. Just a little bit of the hair was singed.
- 真的吗 - 我明白 - Really? - I know.
我知道有很多虾 I know that was a lot of shrimp!
哥们 Dude!
啊 你来啦 Hey, you came!
生日快乐啊 Happy birthday!
太惊人了 This looks amazing!
谢谢 Yeah, thanks.
今天可是老疯狂了 Look, this has been a really, really crazy day.
但我觉得不错啊 Looks like it turned out pretty good to me.
是啊 Yeah.
周末愉快 妮娜 Have a good weekend, Nina...
周末开心 格雷格 Have a good weekend, Greg.
- 谢谢你 - 谢谢打电话过来 - And thank you for everything. - Thank you for your call.
谢谢 Thanks.
电话怎么讲?怎么样 How are you? How was that call?
我找到工作了 It was great. I got the job!
- 你找到工作了? - 是啊 - You got the job? - Yeah.
太棒了 It's fantastic!
我觉得我很有意思 They thought I was fun!
就算是你手着火 Even after you singed your arms...
就算你一次比一次丢脸 Even after the thing and the thing.
"我的手还在" "I still have me arms"?
我是个火热的海盗 他们很喜欢 I was a fiery pirate! They loved it!
哇 Wow!
你知道最好的一点是什么么 You know what the best thing is?
只要搞定好我的任务 As long as I'm getting the work done...
我就可以主宰自己的时间 I can make my own hours.
我还可以拼车 随时来看看我的孩子们 I'll be able to still do carpool and see the kids all the time.
哇 我太高兴了 Wow, I am so happy for you.
你呢 你电话怎么说 What about you? What about your call? How did it go?
迪克·范·戴克的名人朗读火爆了 Dick Van Dyke's reading went viral.
50万销量呢 500,000 hits today.
不会吧 You're kidding me.
妮娜说今天很多人都下单了 Nina says the book is gonna be huge.
太好了 甜心 That is fantastic, sweetie!
是啊... Yeah...
太棒了 it's great!
我真难相信啊 派对竟然成了 I cannot believe we pulled this party off.
我们今天逃了一劫啊 We really turned this day around.
那什么? What's that?
他们干嘛呐 What are they doing?
澳洲惊雷 That's the Thunder from Down Under.
按计划他们应该是扮演正宗澳洲牛仔的 They're supposed to be authentic Australian cowboys.
显然不是 They're not.
不会吧 No, no, no!
伙计们 有小孩 Guys? Guys, PG!
别儿童不宜啊 PG! Keep it PG!
拜托 Please!
不 Oh, no.
亚历山大 走起 亚历山大 走起 Go, Alex! Go, Alex! Go, Alex! Go, Alex!
祝你生日快乐 祝你生日快乐 Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you
此番经历过后 我懂得了 After today, I know that...
你要是跟你爱的人在一起 even terrible days aren't so bad
就算很糟糕 也不错 when you're surrounded by the people you love.
许个愿 孩子 Make a wish, kiddo.
因为原来... Because it turns out...
事情越糟糕 the worse things are...
家人更团结 the better this family gets.
希望以后多点这样的日子 To more days like this.
可拉倒吧 No!
- 你在扯什么? - 好 好 - What are you talking about? - Okay, okay.
对我们来说 这是个倒霉天 For us, this bad day...
也是最美好的一天 was the best day ever!